Kickass and the weather beads

Kickass, the doorstop dog, acknowledges that the keeper may be on to something with his “weather beads” plan, which grew out of remembering a trip to Greece about a hundred years ago when he noted that many Greek men finger a small strand of “worry beads” to calm themselves.  In fact, the keeper brought some worry beads home from Greece and actually “used” them until they proved ineffective in easing his mind as he sat in front of a tax auditor who stared at the beads until the keeper put them away.

But the worry-bead concept was not forgotten, and the keeper is modifying it in his “weather bead” plan for use—especially in places like Wisconsin, where there tends to be so much rotten weather.  The keeper’s weather beads are actually grapes, and not just common grapes, but those that have been processed into wine and brandy.  Rather than meaningless fingering of their weather beads, users are instructed to drink them at the first indication that yet one more gloomy snow event or cold spell is on the way.

The keeper claims to be living proof that if you insist on living in rotten weather locales, “weather beads” are essential to your existence and are especially effective during long periods of one cloudy day after another after another…….