Kickass, the doorstop dog, with his unique ability to see into the future, reports on what happens tonight as the White House is visited by Halloween tricks or treaters. (The keeper interjects that one of rural tricks or treaters’ favorite moves back in his day was to tip over the outhouse.)
Small figures wrapped in sheets approach the WH door. The door opens suddenly and a Great Orange Pumpkin (GOP) emerges, making a loud tweeting sound and shouting, “You are all human scum!” The tricks or treaters stand their ground, and tell the GOP that unless he gives them the truth they will soap his windows and tip over his outhouse. The GOP says there is no way the WH outhouse can be tipped over because Rudy Giuliani is in it along with Mitch and most of the Senate Republicans, and they are all fighting over the thin index pages of the Sears and Roebuck catalog as being the only ones fit for use as toilet tissue, except for the US Constitution, of course, which has been claimed by the GOP for his own private use. The tricks or treaters decide to make a jack-o-lantern out of the GOP and so they cut off his stem and remove all of his seeds, and then they tip over the WH outhouse.