Kickass, the doorstop dog, has enlisted the aid of the keeper in trying to cash in on the Trump book market before it does an “Icarus” and melts from the heat of the sun. Kickass’s “Trump” book will be about the White House dog that never was; and its working title will be “To Pee or Not To Pee—That Is The Question As Applied To The Canine Practice of Marking Territory In An Administration of Narcissistic And Sycophantic Mutts.”
Kickass’s book-thinking goes way back to when all dogs agreed that Trump has the morals of a fire hydrant; and any dog willing to serve as “first dog” in a Trump White House would likely be the kind to sneak out at night and chase vulnerable Capital sheep, perhaps with Trump’s encouragement.
Trump advisors dropped some early attempts to recruit a First Dog after Trump insisted that any candidate would not only have to be neutered but also trained to roll over and play dead, ala Pence, McConnell, Graham and others. Also, in the administration’s version of the game of “fetch” the tennis ball would be replaced with an outsize example of Trump’s ego in the form of a gazing globe which no self-respecting dog would ever attempt to retrieve.
All of these details will be included in “To Pee or Not To Pee…..” and Kickass, with the keeper’s help, hopes to do book promos on the major networks including FOX where, if he were that kind of dog, he might try to bite Tucker Carlson in a meaty part of his anatomy.
(The keeper would apologize for what some might consider the frivolous nature of today’s Kickass post made in the face of multiple deadly catastrophic global threats; but sometimes it all just goes way beyond the capacities of Kickass and the keeper to do anything serious. This is one of those times.)