Kickass and three wrist watches

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper does his best to keep his mind occupied with the kind of trash that prevents it from dwelling on the absurd affairs of state, stupidity in high places and evangelical believers marking their odoriferous territory like packs of mutts with no sense of smell.

In so doing, the keeper’s mind is most recently consumed by a three-wrist-watch dilemma of his own making and due largely to his cheapness, of course.

Needing a band for an old faithful watch, the keeper discovered that at one of the sprawling local merchandising sheep sheds he could buy a new watch with band for $10, about what he had expected to pay just for a band.

Then through his St. Vinny connections he found two $2 watches, one that only needed a battery and the other with a perfectly good removable band.

So now the keeper has three functioning wrist watches and he does not know how to deal with such an excess. Should he wear all three of them in accordance with his reasoning that a watch not watched is, in a sense, time wasted? And what would be the style requirement—three watches on one wrist or a two/one wrist combination?

The keeper would discuss it with Phyllis but she probably has better things to do with her “time.”

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