Kickass and wanna buy a duck

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper is trying to engage one of the world’s great thinkers—Bertrand Russell, in his fumbling to divest his—the keeper’s, cluttered life from the debris of the decades.  Of the four things Russell lists as driving human activity, “acquisitiveness” is one in which “satiety is a dream that will always elude.”  Money is the object of most acquisitiveness, Russell says, which was obviously not the case with the keeper whose random acquisitiveness has filled his house with…well, with the debris of a disorganized life, otherwise known as junk, but not a lot of money.  Now as he and Phyllis contemplate downsizing their living quarters, the junk must go, or at least most of it.  For reasons not clear to him, among the things that got the keeper into troublesome acquisitiveness were various bird decoys and figures, of ducks in particular.  The house is full of them, and while Phyllis jokes that she has helped the keeper “get his ducks in a row,” the brutal truth is that the ducks must now go, in a row or otherwise.

Where is the old vaudevillian Joe Penner “Wanna buy a duck?” when he is needed?

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