Kickass, the doorstop dog, has never considered himself an “emotional support animal” (ESA) for the keeper, but cannot avoid the subject with the news that an Iowa resident is claiming that a wild coyote—“Drifter” in his back yard is his ESA and has helped him with emotional healing while suffering from a foot infection. Furthermore, the Iowa man’s last name is Stokes, the same as the keeper’s. While the keeper has relatives in Iowa, he does not know of “Mathew” but would look forward to meeting him. In the meantime, Kickass is exploring the possible existence of an ESA relationship between himself and the keeper. Kickass, being made of ten or so pounds of cast iron and having no more mobility than a rock, is obviously the kind of ESA the keeper would lean toward. Some time ago a woman asked to board a flight with her ESA which happened to be a peacock. (Her name was not Melania.) For his part, Kickass sees the keeper as the animal in their ESA relationship, and suggests to the keeper’s maybe-Iowa-cousin Mathew, that he and Drifter attend as many Iowa caucuses as possible in the interest of injecting some sanity and emotional stability into the current political scene.