Kickass being 80 percent water

Kickass, the doorstop dog, ever anxious to do good, and suffering like everyone and everything else from a “wet dog” existence this summer, has learned that while a dog’s body is about 80 percent water, a man’s is about 60 percent and a woman’s is 50 percent.  (A woman has more fat cells which retain less water than lean ones.)

In his unending quest to be a smart dog, if not a “smartass” dog, Kickass also ran across a study that said if you drink a glass of water, your brain almost immediately becomes 14 percent faster, but quickly returns to normal, which in the keeper’s case would be….oh, never mind.

In the face of very unfortunate water news—houses destroyed by an overnight flood and lives forever disrupted, the keeper says it is important to remain as upbeat as possible, and hydrated, of course, so he will be having a beer or two, which is about 97 percent water depending on the alcohol content.  In the meantime, since dogs use recycled water to mark territory, Kickass will be heading for the White House.

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