Kickass bird feeder conspiracy

Kickass, the doorstop dog, has long tried to prevent the keeper from taking everything so personal, for example the fact that in recent days there have been no birds at his bird feeder, and the keeper assumed it was something he had done or not done, or perhaps an avian boycott for some political thing he had said.

Then this morning they were back—the cardinals and juncos and the rest of the gang, and, thanks to the Kickass cross-species communication abilities, the real story came out:

Somehow the birds had been told by the likes of Sen. Johnson and other empty-headed conspiracy bozos that the FBI had wired the keeper’s bird feeders and every last chirp was being recorded by AG Sessions.  Once that was straightened out—by a Raven who kept saying “Nevermore,” all the birds relaxed and went back to their old feeding habits.