Kickass bird talk on Thanksgiving

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports on a meeting of the birds:

Turkey: “Why us?”

Pigeon: “Because you are big and dumb.”

Robin: “And your call–‘Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!’ practically commands being eaten

Turkey: “Damn hard for us to use something like your ‘Cheer up!  Cheer up,’ this time of year.

Sparrow: “And there is nothing cute about you. You look as if you were made from spare parts.”

Finch: “Yeah, your best photo pose is upside down on a platter.”

Crow: “You have no meaningful cultural message to discourage your role.  Look what we’ve done with ‘eat crow’.”

Turkey: “Well, we had a dance—‘Turkey trot’ way back in ragtime days.”

Chickadee: “It’s very simple—people would rather eat you than dance with you.”

Turkey: “Oh, shut up.  You have no right to speak on the issue—how the hell would you make gravy from a chickadee?”

Wren: “Happy Thanksgiving!”