Kickass, the doorstop dog, while trying to assist the keeper in formulating a plan for surviving the current winter, was challenged by the recent report that Wisconsin was the top state for injuries suffered from falling, apparently due in part to lots of ice and the consumption of alcoholic beverages. So what to do: Stay off the ice? Don’t drink? If you fall, don’t get up, at least not until it is warmer? Stay in bed with the covers over your head? Get in the car and head south? Drink more? Pull the window curtains to hide wintry outside views? Lock yourself in the darkened bathroom while wearing a bathing suit and repeatedly flushing the toilet to produce a surf-like sound? Call a realtor—in Hawaii? In all candor, none of these efforts are likely to bring much relief from the Wisconsin winter so Kickass suggests pulling your hair out, one hair at a time, which may help take your mind off the weather. Also, once you are completely bald, have holes drilled in your head and offer yourself up as a bowling ball. Bowling helps a lot of people get through a Wisconsin winter.
(See billstokesauthor.com for more Kickass and news of the novel Margaret’s War.)