Kickass

Kickass builds an ark

Kickass, the doorstop dog, aware of the keeper’s frequent misguided missions, has some doubt about his current project of building an ark as being the only possible solution to world circumstances.

While it is only in the planning stage, the keeper would use his experience of being cheap and resurrecting lost boats to build an ark big enough to hold only those people who live with dogs and otherwise do not have pots to piss in.

Some cat-lovers and their cats would be accepted as a means of preserving arrogance for at least 40 days and 40 nights.

Since the threat of global warming will be replaced by “global float” the ark’s passenger list will not include any of those who think they can survive in the current sink-or-swim sea of political Tsunamis, that would include those Republican foie gras geese with their livers and lives stuffed with lies and narcissistic propaganda.

Instead of using a raven as the bird to signal the all-clear as was done Biblically, the keeper’s ark will be using a sparrow with its ability to find nutrients in horse apples as the only survival means likely in the future.

Applicants for booking passage on the keeper’s ark need to send him gold bars and silver coins, and specify why they deserve to float off in the great search for sanity.

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