Kickass competition for stupid

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, noting the intense international and local competition for doing downright stupid things, decided to become an entrant by chasing the mayfly hatch on a local stream, which translates to struggling into chest-high waders, hanging all sorts of weird equipment on your person, taking up a rod with a spider web line and leader, and heading off into the brush and weeds at dusk, because this particular brand of stupid must be done under cover of darkness.

The success—catching trout, of the keeper’s special stupid depends totally on whether or not there is a mayfly hatch at the prescribed time—somewhere after 9 p.m., and usually there is not, which was the case last night as he noted an intense mosquito hatch, and nearly walked on water when an energetic duck thought he was a stump until it realized its mistake at a range of three feet.

The pitiful aspect of the keeper’s stupid is that he will be repeating it for the next several weeks, or until he is restrained by concerned family members, or realizes he is hopeless as a stupid competitor when the likes of Rudy Giuliani are in the running.