Kickass corporate incontinence

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says since corporations have been deemed “people” by the Supreme Court, giving the corporations and their stacks of money “freedom of speech,” which will be greatly increased by the Repubs’ tax heist, shouldn’t  the corps be subjected to the same degree of scrutiny and adherence to rules as the rest of us?

To start, the keeper is accusing Wells Fargo corp. specifically, and banking corporations in general, of sexual assault for screwing him out of god-knows-how-much money in a “loan” arrangement of several years ago.  He also will be suing the pharmaceutical corporations for abject failure in absurdly attempting to fill the role of Mothers in relieving suffering from the common cold and other maladies.

The keeper also wants to know, if the corporations are people, don’t they—like all the rest of us, have an obligation to deal with their chronic incontinence?