Kickass does not see the light

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that a light bulb failed in the keeper’s garage door opener, signifying not the cartoonish death of an idea but simple darkness.  Not one to waste energy, particularly his own, the keeper waited until the bulb in the second opener failed before hauling out the step ladder and proceeding to fix things.  The first bulb replacement went smoothly and the keeper was working up an inordinate head of over confidence just as the replaced bulb in the second opener refused to light. Several other new bulbs were tried and all refused to light.  Gathering his take-it-apart-so-outside-help-is-required-for-reassemble tools, the keeper was about to attack the opener when he noted that all of the new replacement bulbs he had been trying bulged out just above the threads and therefore would not seat deep enough to make electrical contact.    This change in light-bulb design is probably common knowledge across the handyman world, but the keeper had not been exposed to it and therefore felt justified in calling the Almighty’s wrath down on electrical design engineers. This may also explain why–as he recently compared notes with the distraught guy standing in the light-bulb section of the hardware store, that both of them seemed on the verge of tears.  “Remember back when a 60 wt. bulb burned out you could just go buy another GD 60 watter and that was it!” the bulb shopper said.   And then the two of them stood there staring at a thousand different bulbs in all shapes and sizes, and a special kind of dimness seemed to set in.