Kickass

Kickass finds old man Truth

Kickass, the doorstop dog, was with the keeper when they saw the ragged, decrepit figure struggling to climb out of a deep ditch while leaches and blood-sucking bats clung to his body and headless serpents twisted around his limbs.

It was Old Man Truth!  The keeper recognized his longtime friend from his newspaper days, and hastened to lend a hand.

Keeper:  “What the hell happened to you?”

OM Truth: “I was hit by a manure-hauling eighteen wheeler and then run over by a bus load of political narcissists on their way to a party, a GOP party I think.”

Keeper: “My god, you’re in bad shape.  When did this happen?”

OM Truth: “About four years ago.  I’ve been down in that damn ditch ever since, and I would have been road-kill were it not for a few ‘fake news’ highway workers who came by picking up beer cans and mowing weeds.”

Keeper: “How can I help you?”

OM Truth: “Get rid of some of the leeches and bats, and help me find the people on this dumber-than-dirt list.”

Keeper: “There are millions of names on your list.  It would be impossible to find them all.”

OM Truth: “Start with politicians and the Fox network: Cruz, Hawley, Johnson, Paul, Hannity, Tucker etc–those who only care about themselves and think I do not matter.”

Keeper:  “I’ll try.  Is there anything else?”

OM Truth: “Yes. Find me a laxative, I’ve been seriously constipated for four years.”

 

 

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