Kickass hawk

Kickass the Doorstop Dog

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper had one of those out-of-mind experiences this morning while riding his bicycle to nowhere when a coopers hawk landed in the oak just outside the window and the two of them fell into a conversation:  Hawk: “What are you having for breakfast?”  Keeper: “Probably a couple of fried eggs and toast.  What about you?”  Hawk: “For some reason I feel like a mouse this morning but the little bastards are all hidden under the snow.”  Keeper: “I thought you ate mostly birds.”  Hawk: “I do, and I am hungry for a robin but the damn cowards have all flown south for the winter.”  Keeper: “How about a bluejay?”  Hawk: “They taste just like they sound—loud, and they do not go quietly into…..”  Keeper: “A cardinal, then?”  Hawk: “Too damn many red feathers left over and people see them and develop nasty attitudes.”  Keeper: “Well, I guess I can’t help you.”  Hawk: “No surprise there.  One of my uncles was killed flying into one of your neighbor’s windows and……”

It went on and on like that until Kickass resumed his nap.



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