Kickass, the doorstop dog, says the keeper, deeply immersed in his make-me-great (and young)-again campaign, has stumbled into the swamp of hearing aids—ten or so years after several family members said, “Dad you really do need a hearing aid.” It is the keeper’s contention that he did not then nor does he now need a hearing aid, but it occurred to him that he would really like to hear it if somebody said something like, “A semi truck is about to run over you if you do not get the hell out of the way.”
As is his wont, the keeper started out cheap, ordering up hearing aids from an internet source without benefit of any testing or professional assistance. The source promised that he would be able to hear things like falling snowflakes and moon phase changes.
In this early report, the keeper has one of the devices hanging out of his ear by a plastic tether that is supposed to fit into his ear canal which seems to have grown shut. The other device and its ear plug have indeed plugged up his left ear and he has a Van Gogh sensation of something missing. Unfortunately, the keeper is the kind to file endless reports on this type of thing and he hopes that friends will shout advice and guidance in his direction, none of which he will hear of course.