Kickass listens to dog talk

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the following German Shepherd dog talk:

Champ: “We’re moving.”

Major: “No!  We’re leaving Wilmington!  Where are we going?”

Champ: “Washington DC. The boss got a new job there overseeing a billionaire club.”

Major: “What’s our assignment?”

Champ: “Acting as ‘First Dogs’ which means we’ve got to up our sniffing game.”

Major: “How so?”

Champ: “No more going for private areas like crotches.”

Major: “What else?”

Champ: “Instead of barking, we have to tweet.”

Major: “You’re kidding,”

Champ: “It’s true.  The previous overseer didn’t have a dog, and he did all the sniffing and tweeting himself, and it didn’t go well.

Major: “I’m not looking forward to this.”

Champ: “We have to do it.  The boss says it’s for the good of the country.”

Major: “Damn!  Well maybe I’ll get a chance to bite Mitch in the ass.”

Champ: “I’m goin’ for Barr.”

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