Kickass, the doorstop dog, sadly reports that the keeper may or may not be pregnant again. Faithful followers will recall the keeper’s unfortunate earlier experience of competing with three pregnant great-granddaughters-in-law in a baby-belly contest that he won hands down, which motivated him to lose 20 pounds or so, roughly the equivalent of having twins. Sadly, the keeper is showing unmistakable signs of either pregnancy or a disgusting lack of dietary discipline. His weight has crept up into the single-birth range, and if he doesn’t change his ways he is going to assume a pregnant Santa Claus body form. Part of the problem seems to be that the keeper is still celebrating Christmas: eating candy and cookies, gorging on Phyllis’s delicious beef-vegetable soup, wine tasting and toasting, and never missing dessert. So there has to be a weight-loss plan, which currently is at the stage of watching weight-loss commercials on TV while relaxed in a recliner with a snifter of Korbel brandy. Tomorrow! the keeper says, tomorrow the diet and the discipline will start, or maybe next week, if the weather is fit for him to walk at least as far as the mailbox. Kickass has seen it all before and notes that it is just as well that dog’s don’t laugh.
(See billstokesauthor.com for more Kickass and news of the novel Margaret’s War.)