Kickass opens the big door
Kickass, the doorstop dog, self-assigned to jerk the keeper’s leash when there is eminent threat of him being run over by a bus or doing something so totally stupid that it attracts a crowd, Kickass is now reporting an astounding improvement in the keeper’s behavior which may or may not be attributed to the absolute end of the aging process as it applies to him. In most instances, the end of the aging process is brought about by death, and tends to be marked by a solemn occasion that often includes bagpipes.
However, in the keeper’s case, since there is not only an obvious end to his aging but also some undeniable signs of reversals, the scientific community has been alerted and is begging him to share information that may be of great value to thousands of others in his age group.
In the face of this pleading, the keeper says only that if you open the door of your life and somebody walks in playing a lute and a banjo at the same time and asks you with an irrepressible smile to join the band, then, by god, they might as well put the “pipes” far back in the closet for later–much, much later.