Kickass prayer

Kickass, the doorstop dog, through his many connections, has come into possession of a dog prayer that was received by God not long after Trump prayed for Arnold Schwarzenegger at the national prayer breakfast:

So, okay, God, you’re kidding, right?  You’re just having a little fun before You pull the big rug out, right?  Quite frankly, sometimes I wonder about You, particularly when You do things like shoot up little kids or bomb innocents and then say to have faith.

Come on, Man, get a grip!

Sorry, God, I got carried away, but praying dogs are prone to that kind of thing.

So, God, this business with the orange-haired one: As he himself might put it,”JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?”  If You are trying to make the point that the descendants of Adam and Eve are not too bright, we get it.  In fact we got it when you used the snake and the apple.  People do dumb things!  If You persist in making obvious points in this manner, could You stop using the orange-haired one and bring back the snake.

So, God, I know you are busy, but give us a break here.  We see the error of our ways and we will try not to do such a dumb thing again. 

Now, about the way You designed dogs so they remain hooked together after completion of sexual coupling, is there any way to mod………

(The remainder of the dog prayer was missing, probably ripped away by a cat.)