Kickass screaming with the cranes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, stepping out into a transformed world of ass-deep snow this morning, heard strange noises off in the distance and identified them as coming from sandhill cranes that make odd noises under the best of circumstances, but this was different, as if profane screaming had been inserted into the cranes’ crazy yodeling.  Using his unique power of communicating with all species, Kickass heard:

Crane 1. “Who the hell had the idea to come here this early?”

Crane 2. “It was the Koch Crane brothers.  They said there would be corn for all.”

Crane 3.  “Aren’t they the ones who damn near did in the whoopers?”

Crane 4.  “The exact same ones.  Now they’ve got us up here and they buried everything in a foot of snow so there is not a damn thing to eat.”

Crane 5. “They own the snow, you know, so we will have to pay them for it.”

Crane 6.  “With our lives!!!!?”

Crane 7. “If need be.  Koch type cranes don’t give a damn for anything except their money.”

Crane 8. “I wish I were a woodpecker.”