Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper offers the following rearrangements to help settle world issues:
McConnell and all the rest of the senators are to be placed under a restriction of total celibacy as per a recent opinion from retired Pope Benedict XVI regarding his opposition to married priests as suggested by Pope Francis.
The Queen of England is to be impeached and replaced by Meghan Markle who has a firmer grasp of show business, and of Prince Harry.
The $200 million that Bloomberg is spending in an effort to buy the presidency is to be reallocated to the Flat Earth Society, also known as the Trump base.
The 100 top billionaires in the US are to be thrown into the Boston harbor by minimum wage earners, led by Elizabeth Warren, as a demonstration of taxation without representation.
An executive order to assassinate Justine Trudeau is put on hold after the POTUS is told it would not help him with the hockey fan vote in Minnesota.
Kickass said the keeper could go on, but thank goodness, he won’t.