Kickass speaks for chickens

Kickass, the doorstop dog, is cooperating with the keeper in responding to the following message from chickens:

“To whom it may concern, and all of those who eat eggs, not to mention chicken soup and drumsticks.

“Recent events–mainly food prices, have brought unexpected attention to us chickens and we are, quite frankly, unable to deal with it.

“Accustomed as we have been to a nearly complete lack of respect, we are announcing that we will be trying to assume some of the arrogance of cats and the couch-potato personalities of dogs as means of becoming more acceptable as life companions.

“We will be employing chicken agents to represent us, and while we do not expect anything comparable to what goes on the cat, dog or sports world, if you want eggs from here on out, expect us to be roosting on the backs of your recliners and your headboards, and eating choice corn kernels’ from special dishes in the kitchen.

“We will not be crossing the road to deliver your eggs, and if you ever want an omelet again you had better come up with an endearing phrase for chickens that compares with ’Good boy.’ ‘Nice Chickie’ would work.”


“Chicken Little Nomore”

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