Kickass Spicer in the tractor shed

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says the keeper’s tractor shed has a history as a hiding place for those trying to avoid the limelight—Romney after Obama beat him, the Russian who filmed that dossier, etc., and so it was no great surprise to find Sean Spicer out there lurking behind the yard tools.  He seemed anxious to talk and so Kickass perked up his floppy ears.

“Listen, can you get me some phone batteries.  I’m missing tweets.  The last one I heard was about Bannon, and he is the reason I’m hiding out here.  He wants to hug and kiss me for saying those things about the inaugural crowd, and I’m not ready for that..  He’s too sloppy.

“I know that was a year ago, but Bannon doesn’t forget.  I hear he even put me in for one of those White House “Fake News” awards, and I would have won except for that NYT Krugman guy who cheated by telling the truth.  Hey, I could also use some longjohns to ward off this Wisconsin weather.”