Kickass starts day with crash

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper started the day while it was still in its infancy by waking up and finding himself unable to get back to sleep, so he got up and tried to brew a cup of coffee with a new coffee-maker that was designed by engineers from hell.  Half way through the process, a piece fell off the NEW maker and the nearly full cup of coffee crashed down onto the kitchen floor, creating an interesting brown pool that caused the keeper to summon the Almighty in demanding terms.  An extensive middle-of-the-night mop-up followed, during which the keeper continued his communication with higher powers, mostly asking “Why me, oh lord?”  When a day starts under such auspicious circumstances, it can only get better, was the keeper’s line of thinking.  Then he remembered that he had a morning dental appointment, after which he was going to clean the impossibly cluttered basement.  He went back to bed with some old country song lyrics ringing in his ears: “……. tears on my pillow each morning…..”