Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper has a large blemish on his right forearm that appears to be just another “age” spot, but since his arrival on South Padre Island, where there are all kinds of tattoo places catering to the young, he has been trying to pass the mark off as a tattoo, sometimes using the technique of a Trump press conference.
Reporter: “Sir, about that rather unsightly age mark of your right arm?”
Keeper: “Not an age mark. That’s fake news. It’s a tattoo.”
Reporter: “A tattoo! But sir, it looks like just a big blotch.”
Keeper: “It’s a tattoo—of continental Australia.”
Keeper: “Yes. I love Australia.”
Reporter: “Then the smaller mark on your left arm?”
Keeper: “Cuba. I love Cuba.”