Kickass to plow or not to plow

Kickass, the doorstop dog, is watchful as the keeper sits inside the warm house and debates with himself as to whether or not it is wise or even worthwhile to struggle into layers of winter gear, stumble out to the shed, hope the tractor starts, and then climb onto it and plow the latest heavy snowfall out of the sloping/curving driveway. On the one hand, as long as he—the keeper is snowed “up,” there will be no annoying bill collectors or missionaries seeking to save the keeper’s soul. However, there could be a problem with such things as pizza delivery and beer trucks. Since it is apparent that Wisconsin residents will experience frequent isolation due to heavy snow, Kickass offers this advice. Do not be hasty in plowing yourself out: chances are it is too late for your soul to be saved or to avoid being branded “slow pay,” and if you do not have enough pizza and beer on hand to get through a couple of days, you do not have the makings of a true Badger.
(See billstokesauthor.com for more Kickass and news of Margaret’s War.)