Kickass

Kickass unionizes social platforms

Kickass, the doorstop dog, will be assisting the keeper on this Labor Day weekend in unionizing those—including himself, who frequent social platforms, like this one; and as a first condition asks for the elimination of comments about the stupidity of others, which should reduce the platform clutter to the point that proper attention can be given to cat photos and requests to “share” news of Uncle Joe’s successful zucchini harvest.

Once social platforms are unionized, members will be asked to use only the truth, which should also have a monumental reducing effect on content, perhaps allowing more space for idolizing grandchildren, even bratty ones.

The social platform union members would prohibit all posting from Texas; and would in fact picket that state’s border to prevent the seepage of moral sewage into the rest of the country.

The keeper says that unless something is done about it, social platforms will continue to use the public’s untethered baser instincts to generate incredible amounts of money for a handful of people at the top, while the cultural soup turns into a witch’s brew.

There will be no union dues, the keeper says, since most social platform users do not have a pot to pee in, and will soon be posting a photo illustrating that circumstance.

 

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