Kickass weather report

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that while dogs do not pay much attention to weather, and even less to weather reports, the keeper has recently exhibited what could be an alarming reaction to extended weather predictions that seem to focus on snow showers and sub zero temperatures.  He—the keeper, is prone to kicking at the mop-boards and slapping his forehead and producing a sound not unlike a whining dog.  So as a service to him and others who may be distraught by weather prognostications that indicate it will likely snow on the 4th of July, Kickass offers a replacement weather prediction for insertion in the usual weather places:  “Today will be sunny and warm—way above freezing, and by morning tulips will be poking up out of the snow.  Tonight the first spring peepers will be peeping, albeit in a chorus of amphibian profanity.  Tomorrow will see the melting of all the ice where people have either fallen on their ass or done an involuntary back-flip.  Finally, tomorrow night a Wisconsin badger will be seen drop kicking a groggy groundhog over the waxing moon as a cloud bank moves in from the west bearing the aromas of a backyard cookout complete with the unmistakable sound of malt beverages containers being opened.”

(See for more Kickass and news of the novel Margaret’s War.) 


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