Kickass and milking cows

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper extends his and Phyllis’s unfailing efforts to be helpful to those ICE cowboys who are now rounding up the immigrant farm hands who milk the Wisconsin cows.

Well, WHOA, all you masked rearrangers, doesn’t anybody among your deep thinkers—maybe Pete Hegseth realize that come hell or high water or the rapture, Wisconsin cows have to be milked on a daily basis? And since you are removing those willing and able to do the job, it falls on you ICE posse pretenders to do the milking before serious udder trouble sets in.

With cow-milking experience that dates back to nestling his head into a cow’s flank while sitting on a single legged stool next to her and then getting very personal with her mammary equipment, the keeper feels qualified to advise you to first establish a relationship with the cow that is not adversarial. That may not be important to you considering your training, but it is to the cow.

So, take off your mask, look the cow in the eye—end opposite from the udder—and explain to her just why you removed her regular milking crew.

Cows may not be all that smart, but if you tell her how your ICE orders come from a demented bellowing bull she will understand. Cows understand bulls and all that comes along with them.